i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
