Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
