I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
