Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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