Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
