it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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