There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
be right there i have to get my cape
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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