My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
