go do what you do best...puke behind churches
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
