that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
