I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
