at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
