you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
