My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
