Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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