Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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