He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
