I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't deserve a penis
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
