She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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