Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Randomize
