I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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