Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
my poor anus
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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