Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
