can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
only you would photoshop your dick
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize