why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
