How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
