You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
