Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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