What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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