I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize