But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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