Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
