She's JV to your varsity
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize