Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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