you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
