I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
