Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
