I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
