: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
