Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
