i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
