Porn is love you can see.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I need water and some morals
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
