He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
