My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize