Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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