well I can't set my house on fire every night
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Actions speak louder than pants.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
