Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
