I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
how drunk are you?
Several
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
