Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
