I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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