I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
