I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
