white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
