Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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