At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Farmville is her only friend.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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