How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
