I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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