Your mouth is God's brothel.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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