Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
