im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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