On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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