i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
