My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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