I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
me + whiskey = a bad person
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Someone signed my nipple.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
