she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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