just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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