I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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