seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
