I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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