Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
