So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
