you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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