i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I want her autograph on my taint
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
