I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
