Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
